Trophy Wife

A Gift From Your Trophy Wives

We got you something.

Yeah yeah. I know we said we weren’t going to get each other anything this year. But we couldn’t help it. We hope you don’t mind:

WE’VE PUT EVERY SINGLE EPISODE OF OUR PODCAST ONLINE.

That’s right. Every single episode. Nearly 50 Harolds and counting. Over a year’s worth of shows. All for you. Because we love you.

• MARVEL at Trophy Wife’s greatest hits! Shows like Bloodsport or the Del Close nominated Animation.
• WINCE at Trophy Wife’s not-so-greatest hits. Shows like Cheeze Whiz or Masturbation.
• RE-LIVE Rachael or Mike’s first show!

• WITNESS me wear the same four outfits over and over and over again!

And all this comes with the announcement that we’re splitting the podcast off from our normal news feed in the New Year. iTunes subscribers don’t have to worry – your subscription should automatically update over the next few days. But non-iTunes subscribers should grab the link to the left or enter http://feeds.feeburner.com/trophywifepodcast in your newsreader. It’s as easy as that.

Now don’t go out and get us something last minute out of guilt. It’s really no big deal. Just our way of saying “thanks” for sticking with us this long. But if you really must give us something in return, why not donate a few dollars to your favorite improv team?

Have a safe and happy holidays,
-Your Trophy Wives

Show Cataloging Convention

As you might have noticed on the podcast, our suggestion on Wednesday night was rollercoaster. We’ve titled the show “Rollercoaster (II)” because it was the second time the audience has given us rollercoaster as the suggestion.

It’s worth noting that, while the suggestion was a repeat, we did not merely re-perform the same show we did the first time rollercoaster was the suggestion. And it might be more than coincidence that we had audience members from the same social club in attendance for both Rollercoaster and Rollercoaster (II).

Understanding Greatness

If you know anything about Trophy Wife then you know we pretty much blow the doors off anything with doors. But it’s hard to put a real value on that type of greatness without having something to compare it to. What follows is a list of all the things that Trophy Wife is totally better than.

• Glade scented candles
• Bi-level dog houses
• The Volkswagon Passat
• Unix
• Art students
• The Hindenberg disaster
• The movie Dangerous Liasons
• Those Alf puppets Burger King was selling for a while
• Bun length hot dogs
• Childhood innocence
• Any positions of royalty worldwide
• All staplers EXCEPT Swingline
• Musk
• Books
• The concept of the Ural Mountains as a natural barrier between Europe and Asia.
• Clydesdales
• Trial size soap
• Those Homies machines at supermarkets
• The classic Nintendo game Rad Racer
• Custard
• Erasable pens
• Garage sales
• The Who
• Thick sideburns

OK. So maybe a lot of those things are debatable or just plain false but I do know this. Trophy Wife is WAY BETTER than the Dangerous Liasons…bottom line.

i'm awesomer than tim and kevin combined

Well.

I stayed up all night with Photoshop and I think I have finally “made it my bitch.”

Sorry to have to defeat you guys, but it comes down to two things. Two little things I like to call “native intelligence” and “a limitless natural talent for design.”

Check it:

OH MAN! Victory is sweet like baklava.

Metalstar Rocklactica AKA Britney and K-Fed AKA Tim is truly awesomer than Kevin.

Using the power of the Ultimate Warrior’s magic guitar “Rockulon”, Tim and a Cylon bring about an end to the Britney/ K-Fed marriage. Their combined power not only shakes the bowels of the very Gods themselves it also proves, once and for all, that Tim is way awesomer than Kevin McShane.

I'm Awesomer Than Tim

Here’s a little something I like to call “Britney and K-Fed Getting Divorced While Ancient Knights Fight an Evil Dragon and Ronnie James Dio Sings “Falling Off The Edge of The World”:

Suck it, Jennings!

I'm awesomer than Zabeth

Check it out.

If you read Zabs last post you know that she wasn’t able to do this. Bow, Zabeth. Bow to my skills. You shall do the dance of a thousand defeats thrice over.

I even added little broken hearts. Did you catch that?

Seriously though. Who’s broken hearted over this one? No one really. I mean c’mon. K-Fed had it…..nevermind.

BOW, ZABETH!! BOW.

Get Wifed in the privacy of your own home

Have you ever said found yourself thinking “Hmm. I really enjoy watching Trophy Wife every Wednesday at 9:30 at IOWest in Los Angeles, California. But I also really enjoy not wearing pants.”

Well, the IO frowns on that sort of thing, but the marvels of modern technology have come to your aid in the form of the Trophy Wife podcast.

From now until we stop, we’ll be taping our shows and putting them online for your pantless viewing pleasure. They’re even iPod compatable, so you can watch us on the go.

There’s two ways to subscribe to the Wife podcast:

1. In iTunes: Click on this link to launch iTunes and be taken to the Trophy Wife listing in the Podcast Directory. Click on “Subscribe” and that’s it. Simple.

2. In any other Newsreader: Drag or copy/paste this link into your newsreader: http://feeds.feedburner.com/trophywifepodcast

Congratulations!!!

To Todd, who was first to respond to the “I Won Them Sh*ts” contest and has earned himself a brand spanking new Trophy Wife tee-shirt. The shirt is dope, son and so is Todd.

Actually, only two people responded to the post. Todd and Jenne. So Jenne’s getting one too. Yay!! Everyone wins at TrophyWifeImprov.com…except cheaters. They never win.