Trophy Wife

Night of the Refugees

Filed under: IOWest, Announcements of Mild Importance

By now, everyone knows that a recent accident has brought all shows and bar service at IO West to a grinding halt. For some of us, that means drinking far less. For others, it means having to get attention elsewhere. And for a few others, it means no paycheck. With the IO bar closed, a lot of members of the IO community are finding themselves out of work for the time being. That being the case, Nick Armstrong, 2007 Del Close Award winner for sexiest player had an idea. Let’s do shows somewhere else and donate a portion of the proceeds to the IO bar staff. Brilliant!!

This Wednesday at the the Tres Theater on La Brea four of IO’s best groups will come together for a night of revelry, improv, and drinking for a good cause. Doors open at 7:30 and your $10 admission is good for all four shows. Local 132, Kind Stranger Presents: Improvised Tennessee Williams, a Nite Terrors reunion show, and of course, yours truly Trophy Wife. A portion of the proceeds will go to the IO bar staff so we’d like to get as many folks out to enjoy these great shows as we can.

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Our Favorite iO SUV Jokes

Filed under: IOWest, Guess You Had To Be There

If laughter is the best medicine, then the iO West community is already on the mend. Late last week, we solicited your best “iO SUV” jokes in light of the SUV that slammed into the front of the theater. In order to sweeten the deal, we offered a free Trophy Wife t-shirt to the best of the bunch. Well, over 100 submission later, we’ve chosen our favorites.

Special mention goes to our very own Opus Moreschi. As a member of The Wife, Opus isn’t eligible for the free shirt, but the former Late Late Show writer did produce some of our favorite quips, including:

• And you thought the bar was full of bits before…
• Next week, UCB will do the same thing, and all the converse-wearing vampire-weekend-worshipping Los Feliz hipsters will assume they invented it.
• This was merely the first entry in the new Two-Drunk-Guys-And-A-Midsize-Vehicle tournament.
• Well, I’ve never heard of “Car Smashing Through Wall” either, but, they’re from Chicago and Charna loves them, so, they get a slot…

And the groaner

“That was a Del Close one!”

Honorable Mention goes to Moxie’s Graham Douglas for his entry:

I drove a car into iO and all I got was a lousy Trophy Wife t-shirt.

Graham’s bit of meta-humor has convinced us to make him a custom Trophy Wife shirt bearing his entry. So watch for Graham wearing that when the bar reopens.

And so here now are the TROPHY WIFE TOP 10 FAVORITE iO SUV JOKES:

• 10. Someone didn’t make a Harold Team. . . -Joy Allen
• 9. Damn, I paid the guy to hit Vice. . . -Rich Talarico
• 7. In Soviet Russia, improv theater crash into YOU! -Hollywood Phony
• 8. Can we have a suggestion of an automobile that will fit on this stage? -Zach Huddleston
• 6. That’s not bad…but if you REALLY want to see SUV’s crash into improv theaters, you have to go to Chicago. -Mike Hughes
• 5. You mean this isn’t what Miles means by ‘Deconstruction’? -Faryl Who?
• 4. When Trask goes big… -Dave Ball
• 3. I keep trying to run into you at IO West, you just never seem to be at the bar. -Hawkins
• 2. Looks like Joey’s out of rehab! -Rebecca Hotpants Stevens

And OUR #1 FAVORITE iO SUV JOKE:

I haven’t seen a gaping hole like that since Beer Shark left the lineup.

Congratulations to DHT’s Dustin Sterling for his winning entry. Dustin will receive a free Trophy Wife t-shirt in the size of his choice at the next DHT/Trophy Wife show.

Thanks to everyone who entered. Those of you hoping for a Trophy Wife shirt, don’t despair – we’ll have them for sale on the site soon.

And feel free to add more jokes to the original thread (since as we all know “comedy = tragedy + time”), but we now pronounce iO SUV jokes officially dead.

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SUV Smashes Into iO West. Hilarity Ensues.

Filed under: IOWest, Guess You Had To Be There

At approximately 4pm today, an out of control SUV traveling eastbound on Hollywood Blvd. crashed through the front of the iO West, coming to a stop deep in the iO West bar. Nobody was injured, but the Mainstage and Bar have been closed until further notice.

More importantly though, this accident has proven to be instant inspiration for a seemingly endless stream of “iO SUV” jokes among the improv community.

So in order to help the iO West community begin the healing process, we’d like to hear your best “iO SUV” jokes. Use the comments below to submit them. The best one gets a Trophy Wife t-shirt.

UPDATED: We’ve got a winner.

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Trophy Wife to face King Ten in Harold Competiton

Filed under: IOWest, Announcements of Mild Importance

This Tuesday, October 30, Trophy Wife will go up againt King Ten in Round 2 of the IO West Harold Team Competition.

King Ten has been a fixture of the IO West Harold scene for many years. They’ve won their share of competitions. They’ve been the object of countless improv crushes. In short, this night of improv competition (Tuesday, October 30 at 8:00) will not disappoint. The only sad part is that, at the end of the hour, you’ll be asked to decide which team did a better show. But don’t worry: the real winner will be you, the audience.

Trophy Wife vs. King Ten
Fall 2007 Harold Competition
iO West Theater
6366 Hollywood Blvd (between Cahuenga and Vine)
Hollywood 90028
323.962.7560 or www.iowest.com for tickets/info

Admission: $5
21+ (bring your ID)
Full bar / Valet parking

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This Week's Show: Middle Seat

Filed under: Improv, IOWest

Pre-empted by the Harold Competition this week, we present Middle Seat – a one-of-a-kind three person show featuring myself, Zabeth, and the fantastic Andy Trask.

Zabs, Andy, and I will be performing Middle Seat this Friday night at 9pm in the Black Box. Come join us.

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And The Wife Takes a Del

Filed under: Announcements of Mild Importance, IOWest

Trophy Wife won two Dels last night at the IO West’s first-annual Del Close Awards. Nominated in 3 ensemble categories (Best Team Name, Best Harold Performed, Best Harold Team), Trophy Wife won for Best Team Name and Best Harold Team.

Several members of Trophy Wife were nominated in other categories. Zabeth Russell and Eric Hunicutt won a Del for their two-person show Applebottom Gang as Best Show in the IO West’s Andy Dick Black Box Theater. Eric won again for a Goal! show. And Zabeth won again for Most Memorable Line. Her line was from a Trophy Wife show and is, indeed, memorable: “Do you think it’s easy having a child with an 11-inch clitoris in class?”

The awards ceremony itself was a lavish affair. Craig Cackowski served as the announcer, Josh Dubose as the host, and a cavalcade of IO West’s finest were the presenters. The night celebrated improv as an art form, the IO West as a community, and self-congratulation as an acceptable thing to do on a hot summer night in Los Angeles.

As with any awards ceremony, talk inevitably turns to debating who was the best dressed person at the event. I’d like to say that award goes to everyone. The entire theater was dressed to the nines: Miles Stroth in a seersucker suit; Ali Davis in a dress fit for a queen; Nick Armstrong in an outfit that was part P.T. Barnum, part Liberace. Again, I’d like to say that everyone wins Best Dressed, but there is, in fact, a clear and singular winner for Best Dressed: our coach Irene White.

Check out Kevin’s photos from the event.

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Vote Often, Vote Early, Vote Trophy

Filed under: IOWest, Improv

Voting for the 2007 Del Close Awards closes on July 11. Eligible voters need to cast their votes at the IO West box office by 10 pm on the 11th (this Wednesday). The votes will then be tallied by volunteer counters from places like Price Waterhouse/Coopers and Lybrand/KPMG/KCRW/Deloitte/Touche.

Winners will be announced at the Del Close Awards at the IO West on Friday at 10 pm.

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the wife cleans up at the Del Close Nominations

Filed under: IOWest, Announcements of Mild Importance

Last night the nominations for the upcoming Del Close Awards at IOWest were announced and Trophy Wife (or Trophy Wifers) were nominated in several categories.

Here’s the full list of categories and nominees:

EXCELLENCE IN BARTENDING

• Nick Bush
• Jon Crowley
• Dan McNeill
• Brian O’Connell
• Britain Spellings

BEST WAITSTAFF

• Anoush Arakelian
• Jessica Botello
• Ashley Knaysi
• Eve Savona
• Colleen Heider

HARDEST WORKING INTERN

• Anoush Arekelian
• Troy Coleman
• Genevieve Jones
• Erin McGathy
• Judith Shelton

MOST LIKELY TO BE AT IO WHEN THEY DON’T HAVE A SHOW

• Spencer Austin
• Kevin Berg
• Woody Drennan
• Joe Hererra
• EJ Scott

FAVORITE ANDY DICK BOX SHOW

• Afternoon Delight
• Apple Bottom Gang (Eric and Zabeth)
• First Time with Cacky
• The Social (Zabeth)
• Troika (Kevin and Irene)

SEXIEST PLAYER

• Nick Armstrong
• Ryan Gaul
• Sarah Gee
• John McKinney
• Eve Savona

BEST PORTRAYAL OF FURNITURE OR ENVIRONMENT

• Jason Shomer – Table Lamp (Mission IMPROVable)
• Tim Jennings – Computer Game Character (Trophy Wife)
• Craig Cackowski – Bear Skin Rug (COG)
• Jason Meier – File Cabinet Droid, File2D2 (Level 5 Class Show)
• Bob Dassie – Scott Adsit’s Love Handles (Armando)

BEST IMPROVISED NON-HAROLD SHOW

• Armando
• Cog (Johnny A & Mike Coen)
• Dasariski
• Opening Night! The Improvised Musical
• Quartet

MOST MEMORABLE LINE

• “I’ve got a sauce that’ll blow your dick off!”- John Abbott
• “I’m a botanist, you bitch!” Joy Allen
• “Ah, the horrible delay of an excellent soufflé.”- Craig Cackowski
• “I’m looking for a genius baby.” Dave Hill
• “Do you think it’s easy having a child with an 11-inch clitoris in class?” – Zabeth Russell

BEST SCRIPTED SHOW

• Dry Clean Only (Josh DuBose and Dana Powell)
• Lampshades (Scot Robinson & Kate Flannery)
• The Sunset: Live at Dusk (Misson IMPROVable)
• Open to the Public (Irene White)
• Potential (Karen Graci)

MOST UNDERRATED PLAYER

• Rachael Drummond
• Kevin McShane
• Bobby Mort
• Chris Mosier
• Melissa Sorrentino

BEST TEAM NAME

• King Ten
• The LaFontaine Players
• Spazz Free
• Sweetness
• Trophy Wife

BEST HAROLD PERFORMED

• Baker’s Dozen (Goal!)
• High School Drama Club (King Ten)
• Nursing Home (King Ten)
• Animation (Trophy Wife)
• Suede (Trophy Wife)

BEST HAROLD TEAM

• DHT
• Goal!
• King Ten
• La Fontaine Players
• Trophy Wife

COACH OF THE YEAR

• Craig Cackowski
• Dave Hill
• Eric Hunicutt
• Levin O’Connor
• Irene White

TEACHER OF THE YEAR

• Craig Cackowski
• Sarah Gee
• James Grace
• Dave Hill
• Eric Hunicutt

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Temporary Time Change

Filed under: Announcements of Mild Importance, IOWest

For the next three weeks, Trophy Wife will be performing at 10:00 pm on Wednesdays. Our show has been bumped back to accommodate the theater’s Harold competition.

If you enjoy a good Harold competition, please come earlier to see the competition shows. The competition is hosted by a rotating crew of Trophy Wives. While we do the hosting, the audience does the voting, so get on down to the most rocking plebiscite in town.

And then catch us sharing the 10 o’clock hour with the redoubtable King Ten.

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Requiem for Freeza

Filed under: IOWest, Why Other Countries Want to Bomb Us

Recently, a number of sweeping changes have been instituted at the ol’ iOWest. Upgrades, if you will. A fancy new computer in the booth, a swanky computer system in the box office and bar, Opus’ facial hair. . .

But some of these changes have been bittersweet. For example, our beloved bar manager, Britian Spellings, has since moved on to greener pastures. And a decision has been made to cancel a number of the 2 person shows on Monday nights. Meaning great shows like The Applebottom Gang (featuring our very own Eric and Zabeth) now have to find a new home.

But even more unfortunate than these departures and cancellations is the recent death of a free meal. See, as long as I can remember, the iO has been providing free pizza (or, as I call it freeza) for all participants of the Improv Jam. This freeza was ordered from one of the myriad pizza places down the street and, while perhaps not of the highest quailty, it was nevertheless plentiful and provided the necessary fuel to fire the notoriously outrageous Jam.

A few months ago, the Jam moved from Monday nights to Wednesday nights, bringing the glory of freeza with it. Freeza and I became good friends. Each week, I dutifully followed the House Manager as she made her way upstairs with a stack of fresh freeza. I (and perhaps too many of my compatriots) came to rely on freeza as a late, crappy – but above all, free – dinner on Wednesday nights. Thank you, iOWest.

Well, true to the adage “there’s no such thing as a free meal,” freeza’s days were soon numbered. Little did I know that my little paper plate of square freeza slices two weeks ago would be my last helping. The mandate had some down from on high – freeza would be no more.

Now, the long picnic table upstairs lies fallow on Wednesday nights. (Actually, I don’t even think that table’s there anymore. Must be one of the other upgrades). So farewell to you, fair freeza. You might have smelled funny – you might have tasted like wet cardboard – and you might have even given me a tapeworm – but damnit, you were free. And that was good enough for me.

After all, as the McShane Famly Motto goes: “There’s no food like free food.”

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