Trophy Wife

Tips for a Kountry Khristmas: Mind Games

Sometimes I go from a big city (Los Angeles) to a small town (Mooresville, IN) over the holidays. This seems like it’d be relaxing, but sometimes I get stressed out from inactivity. This is because Mooresville is “quieter” than Los Angeles, and I’ve gotten used to loudness.*

So this year I’ve decided to keep myself amused by playing a new little game every day.

Today’s game was called Answer My Sister When She Is Talking to Her Cat As Though She’d Been Talking to Me.

Sample conversation:

—————————
MY SISTER:
Come on, fatness! Get off my mattress!

ME:
Oops, sorry about that.

MY SISTER:
No, I’m not talking to you. I’m talking to the cat.

ME:
Oh.
————————

(Please note that I was nowhere near the mattress – in fact, I was in a different room)

Second conversation:

————————
MY SISTER:
Come on, fatty, it’s time to eat your dinner.

ME:
Yay! What am I having?

MY SISTER:
No. I am talking to the cat.

ME:
Oh.

————-

If you decide to play this game, and I highly recommend it, nonchalance is key.

• “loudness” = hobos, smog, desperation, partial nudity