Trophy Wife

Requiem for Freeza

Freeza looks nothing like this

Recently, a number of sweeping changes have been instituted at the ol’ iOWest. Upgrades, if you will. A fancy new computer in the booth, a swanky computer system in the box office and bar, Opus’ facial hair. . .

But some of these changes have been bittersweet. For example, our beloved bar manager, Britian Spellings, has since moved on to greener pastures. And a decision has been made to cancel a number of the 2 person shows on Monday nights. Meaning great shows like The Applebottom Gang (featuring our very own Eric and Zabeth) now have to find a new home.

But even more unfortunate than these departures and cancellations is the recent death of a free meal. See, as long as I can remember, the iO has been providing free pizza (or, as I call it freeza) for all participants of the Improv Jam. This freeza was ordered from one of the myriad pizza places down the street and, while perhaps not of the highest quailty, it was nevertheless plentiful and provided the necessary fuel to fire the notoriously outrageous Jam.

A few months ago, the Jam moved from Monday nights to Wednesday nights, bringing the glory of freeza with it. Freeza and I became good friends. Each week, I dutifully followed the House Manager as she made her way upstairs with a stack of fresh freeza. I (and perhaps too many of my compatriots) came to rely on freeza as a late, crappy – but above all, free – dinner on Wednesday nights. Thank you, iOWest.

Well, true to the adage “there’s no such thing as a free meal,” freeza’s days were soon numbered. Little did I know that my little paper plate of square freeza slices two weeks ago would be my last helping. The mandate had some down from on high – freeza would be no more.

Now, the long picnic table upstairs lies fallow on Wednesday nights. (Actually, I don’t even think that table’s there anymore. Must be one of the other upgrades). So farewell to you, fair freeza. You might have smelled funny – you might have tasted like wet cardboard – and you might have even given me a tapeworm – but damnit, you were free. And that was good enough for me.

After all, as the McShane Famly Motto goes: “There’s no food like free food.”