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A What Kind of Elvis? : Trophy Wife

A What Kind of Elvis?

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Today I went to see my dentist, Dr. Ruiz.

The hygenist asked if I wanted nitrous.

I’d never had nitrous before.

Shrooms? Yes.

Copious amounts of rum consumed out of a coffee mug in a Nassau, Bahamas bungalow? Absolutely.

A marijuana cigarette rolled in the onion-skin-thin paper of the New Testament? You betcha.

But nitrous? No.

She told me it would relax me, like having a glass of wine.

It was not at all like having a glass of wine. It was like having a bottle of wine. Without even bothering with a glass.

I told Dr. Ruiz, who happens to be of Hispanic descent, that he looks like a Mexican Elvis.

I’m right though, aren’t I?
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