Trophy Wife Show Archives
Over 100 Harolds (and counting). 12 of them worth watching.
Missed a show? Step into to the Trophy Wife Archives. Here, our crack team of archivists keep tabs on over four years worth of Trophy Wife Harolds for all your historical needs.
Find your favorite show or watch a selection from when we were all young, thin, and actually gave a shit. Then, be sure to subscribe to the podcast to ensure you never miss another gem again.
| Greatest Hits in GOLD | Show | Comments | Watch | Download |
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Gas Station02.02.1227:07 |
"You guys sell BBQ back there? Cause you got the kinda ribs I want to eat." -Dave Park | Watch | Download |
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Chump Change01.19.1225:52 |
"I proposed to the mayor's daughter. She's 12. She gave me a super strong maybe." -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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I Saw The Sun01.05.1229:57 |
"What are you afraid of? That in the middle of the night I might strangle you to death?" -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Unemployment12.08.1130:57 |
"She brought in more dimes to donuts than you could sell a handful of snakes on.." -Dave Park | Watch | Download |
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Snuggie12.01.1129:35 |
"I gave him the bacon-wrapped bacon!" -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Pipe Cleaner11.24.1129:37 |
"That's a picture of Barbi Benton's bush" -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Rubber11.17.1128:41 |
"Roosevelt's Dad had a wet dream and his Mom rolled into it" -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Lightsaber11.10.1130:04 |
"Oooh-wah-tigu-wah, Solo!" -Kevin McShane | Watch | Download |
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Cockroach11.03.1135:19 |
"That's why I waited here..." -Mike Betette | Watch | Download |
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Alligator10.27.1129:43 |
"It's only been secondhand reports written in Mandarin and translated by a fool..." -Dave Park | Watch | Download |
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Astronaut10.20.1131:51 |
"You sound like you have a puppy living inside your throat..." -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Blessing10.13.1130:44 |
"Brownies on me. I'm buying brownies for everyone." -Dave Park | Watch | Download |
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Hiccup09.29.1121:30 |
"Shut your gay mouth, okay?" -John Abbott | Watch | Download |
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Binoculars09.15.1129:41 |
"Apple Butter lotion makes me feel like a rich lady!" -Rachael Drummond | Watch | Download |
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Poundmydog09.08.1131:30 |
"Ha ha! The rich man wins again!" -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Espanglish09.02.1125:32 |
"I get no self-respect around here" -Jill Alexander | Watch | Download |
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Cheese (III)08.25.1133:03 |
"I wish my legs worked!" -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Eyeglasses08.11.1129:55 |
"That's like saying you'll meet someone in the ocean" -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Traffic08.04.1124:01 |
"You made Harvey Keitel cry!" -Kevin McShane | Watch | Download |
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Free Parking07.14.1126:22 |
"My Mom said I should meet you..." -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Cotton Candy07.07.1128:58 |
"Sometimes, I'll just fall asleep in a lady..." -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Tickets06.30.1123:03 |
"Sometimes, when I'm doin it, if it's a little one, I yell Murray..." -John Abbott | Watch | Download |
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Soccer06.23.1127:29 |
"Can I call you sensei?" "Sure, what's that mean?" -John Abbott & Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Ace of Spades06.16.1126:31 |
"OK, now I get it..." -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Compass06.02.1129:26 |
"Hey, those ducks don't want your shit." -Mike Betette | Watch | Download |
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Constipation05.26.1123:59 |
"Sports are great. For the body." -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Banana05.13.1126:26 |
"And yet, there's something about him. I desperately want his friendship!" -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Dog05.05.1122:41 |
"I hope he's wearing a condom" -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Bitter Disappointment04.28.1122:19 |
"So this is a story about a 4th of July picnic that I went to, but I turned it into a kidnapping and murder..." -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Rucksack04.21.1134:24 |
"We have a mer-lord!" -Mike Betette | Watch | Download |
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Siren04.14.1124:49 |
"Then you don't like the size of my p**sy?" -Jill Alexander | Watch | Download |
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Pepper Spray04.07.1122:28 |
"I'm overweight, I could never chase anyone." -Mike Betette | Watch | Download |
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Pinstripe04.01.1126:10 |
"He has got a magnetism. Like if an eagle was in SAG.." -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Duck03.17.1132:18 |
"Why don't you be a lamb and disrobe that Gappocalypse you're wearing..." -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Anniversary03.10.1125:15 |
"The reason I'm asking is because I let him put it in a little..." -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Meatloaf03.03.1125:15 |
"Please - something, anything - cutting myself didn't help." -Jill Alexander | Watch | Download |
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Submarine (II)02.24.1124:51 |
"You're the Steve and Edie of the underneath the water people" -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Birthday Party02.17.1124:59 |
"It's just so hard being an ice cream man. They're like little veal running around..." -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Truck Stop02.10.1132:14 |
"That was the happiest day of my life" -Kevin McShane | Watch | Download |
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Taco Stand02.03.1127:21 |
"I'm going to read this in what I only imagine the woman's voice sounds like..." -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Saloon01.27.1124:46 |
"Rodeo Rocket Car Jump A Ravine!" -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Cab Stand01.20.1126:35 |
"I'm just flowing more..." -Jill Alexander | Watch | Download |
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Lion Cage01.13.1125:54 |
"Baby in a zoo..." -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Quick-E-Mart01.06.1125:56 |
"I think that's red..." -Jill Alexander | Watch | Download |
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Predators12.09.1026:22 |
"I don't know science! I'm the tech guy!" -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Trashcan12.02.1026:03 |
"I have a doll collection. I totally realize that." -John Abbott | Watch | Download |
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Cavity11.29.1025:59 |
"...and that's when I dropped the N-Word!" -Kevin McShane | Watch | Download |
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Unicorns11.18.1025:20 |
"I was inside it for three days..." -Mike Betette | Watch | Download |
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Cheese11.06.1026:40 |
"I own the entire eastern seaboard. The entire thing." -Kevin McShane | Watch | Download |
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Jealousy10.29.1027:56 |
"Is Joshua home yet?" -Jill Alexander | Watch | Download |
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Forceps10.21.1026:10 |
"Will you get in a tub and let me paint it?" -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Window Pane10.14.1027:26 |
"Can I ask you something? You see a guy with a black eye, do you get a hard-on?" -Mike Betette | Watch | Download |
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Kamakaze10.07.1026:43 |
"I guess we should get weird" -John Abbott | Watch | Download |
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Harpoon10.01.1025:13 |
"Sometimes it's like walking with a caption!" -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Don't Stop Believin'09.16.1021:58 |
"The Thornbirds did so much for priestly sex." -John Abbott | Watch | Download |
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Landing Strip09.02.1025:30 |
"Success has many fathers" -John Abbott | Watch | Download |
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Mescaline08.12.1028:18 |
"Your Majesty, you've returned!" -Rachael Drummond | Watch | Download |
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Banana Boat08.05.1030:46 |
"Let me get this. I have $156." -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Thanksgiving07.29.1017:06 |
"I found the turnips!" -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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French Horn07.08.1027:08 |
"...busted m'lady's diaphragm with my monster dong!" -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Spiders07.01.1028:00 |
"You need so much help. Help that I can give you Tom Hanks." -Mike Betette | Watch | Download |
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Safe By A Mile06.03.1027:39 |
"Phil, it's not the only copy of the movie..." -Rachael Drummond | Watch | Download |
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Sprouts05.27.1030:15 |
"Where'd your shirt go?" -John Abbott | Watch | Download |
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Bubbles05.20.1028:19 |
"I just pissed a gallon of plaid!" -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Pirate04.29.1023:35 |
"I told you a hobo would break your heart" -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Umbilical Cord04.22.1027:20 |
"I'm drinking. I'm not drunk" -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Spiral04.15.1027:42 |
"How dare you kick me out. I just wanna listen to jazz!" -Mike Betette | Watch | Download |
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Sunflowers (5th Anniversary)04.08.1031:29 |
"Don't doggie-paddle to your own vagina!" -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Bubblegum04.01.1024:31 |
"Well, it's got a little piece of a dead bird I found on my walk this morning in it" -Rachael Drummond | Watch | Download |
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Deja Vu03.25.1025:04 |
"Hi, I'm Roman Polanski" -Mike Betette | Watch | Download |
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Money03.18.1026:16 |
"Did I put a question mark next to my name?" -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Swamp Ass03.11.1025:32 |
"I'd name him Polaris. So if he got lost, he'd look at the North Star and come home." -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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To Be Younger03.04.1026:03 |
"There's a poster of STDs in the bathroom and I have 8 of them" -Jill Alexander | Watch | Download |
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Get Some02.25.10 |
"The first movie I ever had sex with was Space Camp!" -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Crap Shoot02.18.1026:39 |
"I keep telling you, I'm not God. I'm Gary O'Donnell: god@gmail.com" -Kevin McShane | Watch | Download |
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Regret02.11.1028:38 |
"Well, it's perfect for a lady and a cat. In fact, when this apartment was listed, I thought 'a lady and a cat, I hope that comes by.'" -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Gummi Bears02.04.1025:00 |
"Concert tickets!" -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Stage Monkeys01.28.1020:30 |
"Marriage - the big lie!" -Everyone | Watch | Download |
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Big Wheel01.14.1024:33 |
"How come I always gotta sit out in the truck?" -Kevin McShane | Watch | Download |
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Going To The Gym01.07.1027:14 |
"It's not about the legs, it's what's inside your head....heart" -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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To Not Come Here Anymore12.31.0928:11 |
"Oh my God, they cut my hair in an incredibly flattering fashion..." -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Mistletoe12.04.0927:58 |
"No wonder the holidays have the highest rate of Smurfing..." -Kevin McShane | Watch | Download |
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Mutton11.26.0932:00 |
"You're fired" -Mike Betette | Watch | Download |
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Sweater Vest11.19.0928:08 |
"Sandra, if harlotry was a lotion, he'd be so moist right now." -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Poison11.12.0926:51 |
"Punch me! Punch me!" -Jill Alexander | Watch | Download |
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Hula Hoop (II)11.05.0928:50 |
"Car Bloating..." -Jill Alexander | Watch | Download |
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Grandstanding10.22.0928:59 |
"I would say that the only appropriate vehicle for that baby to travel around in would be a cloud that it sits on that moves independently of the baby." -Tim Jennings | Watch | Download |
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Bad Breath10.15.0926:14 |
"You guys - we're sitting, but we're also flying!" -Kevin McShane | Watch | Download |
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Magic10.08.0928:15 |
"What do you get when you cross Jimmy Carter with Sam Rayburn? A Dixiecrat!" -John Abbott | Watch | Download |
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Enchanted Forest10.01.0926:41 |
"You know, on second thought - I think I'm just going to empty out this drawer and climb inside." -Tim Jennings | Watch | Download |
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Frozen09.24.0925:25 |
"Ask that baby what's gonna happen on Lost." -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Cookie Monster09.17.0928:30 |
"It was a different dream last night..." -Tim Jennings | Watch | Download |
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Robots09.03.0924:37 |
"Oh hey, Terese - is that a port wine birthmark on your face?" -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Loud Noises08.27.0929:13 |
"Abalabalabalabalab..." -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Zeus08.20.0930:05 |
"You're going to have to sleep on WHey!" -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Sack Lunches08.13.0930:11 |
"Every day, when I leave here, I got into my neighborhood and I shoot people I think are criminals." -Tim Jennings | Watch | Download |
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Vermin08.06.0925:28 |
"The evil spirit in my walls doesn't have a weiner?" -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Freckles07.30.0927:08 |
"Grandma, you got the job." -Tim Jennings | Watch | Download |
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Jelly Beans07.16.0924:42 |
"Why don't you crawl back inside my womb so I can make a new life for myself?" -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Pterodactyl07.02.0922:08 |
"A dead wife and a kid to complicate things? All I can say is I'm glad someone's using the White House milkshake machine." -Tim Jennings | Watch | Download |
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Annihilation06.25.0927:00 |
"32? Wow. Well, you look 20, but you act 70!" -John Abbott | Watch | Download |
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Submarine06.18.0924:01 |
"Don't use the same voice I'm using." -Kevin McShane | Watch | Download |
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Porcupine06.11.0926:51 |
"Marcus, I thought it would be something special between the two of us. But what's special is what's between the two of us." -Jill Alexander | Watch | Download |
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Cartwheel05.29.0928:46 |
"Deb, put a smile on your face - you're not that pretty." -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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F**k05.21.0922:14 |
"Hi guys, I'm the Space Shuttle Challenger..." -Tim Jennings | Watch | Download |
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Admission05.14.0928:11 |
"You hotwire books when you go to the library..." -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Pinocchio05.13.0922:51 |
"I want to enter your Ottoman Empire..." -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Jackrabbit05.07.0929:07 |
"You never should've stopped taking your St. John's Wart..." -Tim Jennings | Watch | Download |
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Razor Blades04.30.0923:33 |
"Snizz. . . is a good name for a cat." -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Karma04.23.0927:06 |
"Curiosity led him to that fight." -Tim Jennings | Watch | Download |
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Firefly04.16.0926:37 |
"I ain't had a ration of bakin' on fortnight-a-many!" -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Cookies04.09.0928:25 |
"We should talk about other girls that you should date - girls that we both know. Who do you think's hot?" -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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The Ocean04.02.0928:54 |
"Wake up there, missy! There's a war on! Buy War Bonds!" -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Penguin03.26.0931:03 |
"Did you see her sauce shelf?" -John Abbott | Watch | Download |
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Glacier03.19.0930:00 |
"Oh shit, it looks like a gorilla paw!" -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Feline Diabetes03.12.0929:20 |
"Benny Hill is getting fucking complicated..." -Tim Jennings | Watch | Download |
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Ice Cream Cake03.05.0928:48 |
"We know that dreams are just cartoons in your head with no commercials." -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Corned Beef Hash02.26.0925:46 |
"It's like you had a full meal and it's just sittin' on you nice-like" -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Homewrecker02.19.0927:49 |
"Didja touch it?" -Kevin McShane | Watch | Download |
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Cheeseburger02.12.0931:32 |
"This says 'Fucking Relax.'" -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Flights of Fancy02.05.0929:40 |
"What were you dreamin' about? Chewin'?" - Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Chocolate01.28.0924:08 |
"I'm just happy you stayed for a second sentence" -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Doggie Paddle01.15.0927:13 |
"Do you wanna feel my wiener?" - Jill Alexander | Watch | Download |
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Peppercorn01.08.0925:45 |
"Well, she got me on expired tags on my car, but I'm really a rapist." -John Abbott | Watch | Download |
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You Can Win!12.18.0827:43 |
"I'm probably going to allow you to eat something with gold in it." - Tim Jennings | Watch | Download |
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Daschund12.11.0828:23 |
"This is not the end of a musical where you turn my heart into warm places. . . or is it?" - Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Kalamazoo12.04.0827:55 |
"Your dick looks like Florida." -Jill Alexander | Watch | Download |
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Ron Hubbard11.27.0828:38 |
"You'll be in need of another date. . ." -Tim Jennings | Watch | Download |
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Update11.20.0829:42 |
"He wasn't that big and beefy. . ." -Jill Alexander | Watch | Download |
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Jury Duty11.13.0827:21 |
"You can stop dialing 7 characters in. . ." - John Abbott | Watch | Download |
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Pinball11.06.0827:07 |
"Am I predator or prey?" - Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Software10.30.0826:48 |
"I watch a lot of the American Television and children talk back to their mothers." - Jill Alexander | Watch | Download |
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World Domination10.23.0827:54 |
"We're gonna have to kill my wife." - John Abbott | Watch | Download |
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Yes We Can10.16.0828:43 |
"It's never too late to have a happy childhood." - Rachael Drummond | Watch | Download |
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Rhinoceros10.09.0830:35 |
"We must find this Red October. . ." - Kevin McShane | Watch | Download |
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Lump09.25.0822:19 |
"I was like, 'Where'd the doors go?'" -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Futon09.18.0831:06 |
"My juice'll knock your balls off. . ." - Tim Jennings | Watch | Download |
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Underwear09.11.0827:08 |
"I'm supposed to meet someone here named Buddy. He's bringing me cocaine." - Tim Jennings | Watch | Download |
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Cheese09.04.0829:34 |
"Don't tell your father to shut up." - Kevin McShane | Watch | Download |
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Waffle Cone08.27.0834:19 |
"I taught him plenty about plumbing." - Tim Jennings | Watch | Download |
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New York08.21.0824:32 |
"I met a whole busload of Nigerians today. . ." -John Abbott | Watch | Download |
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Flu06.19.0826:33 |
"You've got Karma Sutra and you've got a lady thumb in your hindquarters." - Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Frog06.12.0829:11 |
"So it's not not really a plug you pull, it's a switch you flip." -John Abbott | Watch | Download |
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Tattoo05.28.0822:33 |
"In a way, ain't all opera characters mythical creatures?" - Tim Jennings | Watch | Download |
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Salted05.22.0826:54 |
"Lee Iacocca didn't have friends." - Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Needles05.07.0824:15 |
"There's nothing uglier than see a lie dance." -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Slinky04.30.0827:13 |
"I really wanted to bone this weekend." -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Residuals04.23.0827:00 |
"Oh NoooOOOOOOOoooo!" -Tim Jennings | Watch | Download |
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Casual Friday04.16.0828:02 |
"Gina, what are you doing?" -Rachael Drummond | Watch | Download |
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Weenie Roast04.09.0823:53 |
"I'm a neighbor and this is a baby. HE WAS A BABY!" -Tim Jennings | Watch | Download |
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Astrology04.02.0825:45 |
"I can't her to LATCH." - Jill Alexander | Watch | Download |
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Bananas Foster03.27.0821:45 |
"Listen assholes, there's a Watermelon Boat Apocalypse out there. If you don't get out there soon, I'm gonna come back here and face rape all of you with the marzipan cherubs." - Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Static Electricity03.12.0820:46 |
"I was under the impression there would be more ladies here." -Kevin McShane | Watch | Download |
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Greenbeans03.05.0827:33 |
"I did a book report on Dwight Eisenhower. He beat the shit out of a German with a shoe." - Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Dubious02.21.0823:16 |
"He's got fruit punch if you want fruit punch!" -Rachael Drummond | Watch | Download |
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Steak Tartare02.13.0826:57 |
"We told _that_ cow." - Eric Hunicutt | Watch | Download |
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Nova01.31.0826:00 |
"Look, if you've got a ski-mask, you're halfway there." -Opus Moreschi | Watch | Download |
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Wendy's01.24.0824:47 |
"Yeah, we're at the beach." -Tim Jennings | Watch | Download |
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Archaeology01.17.0825:33 |
"All the time!" -Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Astronomy01.10.0828:27 |
"I'm moving at the speed of Love. . ." - Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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iPhone01.03.0825:48 |
"Well he's cut! Like a cheese plate!" -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Left Alone12.19.0726:07 |
"Listen, I'm not sure how to flush your toilet. So I didn't." -Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Love12.12.0724:31 |
"Rape is a state of mind. . ." - Zabeth Russell | Watch | Download |
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Tired11.28.0729:13 |
"I'm gonna open up my dog like a Ton Ton and sleep inside of him!" - Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Happy11.14.0723:34 |
"Dale is the man with the cowboy name that does not wear a hat." - Mike Coen | Watch | Download |
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Broom Closet11.07.0743:14 |
Watch | Download | |
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Britney Spears10.30.0726:30 |
Watch | Download | |
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Birth Control10.24.0722:32 |
Watch | Download | |
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Garbage Pail Kids09.26.0730:02 |
Watch | Download | |
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Masturbation09.19.0723:51 |
Watch | Download | |
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Celebrity Gossip09.12.0723:10 |
Watch | Download | |
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Snickers Bars09.05.0721:12 |
Watch | Download | |
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80's Sitcoms08.29.0720:56 |
Watch | Download | |
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Peanut Butter08.22.0722:41 |
Watch | Download | |
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Basketball08.15.0725:20 |
Watch | Download | |
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Cheeze Whiz08.07.0724:07 |
Watch | Download | |
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Baby Oil07.25.0726:42 |
Watch | Download | |
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Comic Books07.18.0728:40 |
Watch | Download | |
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Hammer07.11.0726:50 |
Watch | Download | |
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Fuzzy Rabbits06.13.0725:59 |
Watch | Download | |
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Pez05.30.0722:53 |
Watch | Download | |
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Ice Cream05.23.0727:37 |
Watch | Download | |
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Adventures In Babysitting05.09.0725:50 |
Watch | Download | |
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Grappling Hook05.02.0725:49 |
Watch | Download | |
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Whip04.25.0727:55 |
Watch | Download | |
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Rollercoaster (II)04.18.0728:40 |
Watch | Download | |
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Monogamy04.11.0728:12 |
Watch | Download | |
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Bloodsport03.14.0726:00 |
Watch | Download | |
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Cheboygan03.07.0729:06 |
Watch | Download | |
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Transformers02.28.0727:32 |
Watch | Download | |
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Mom02.14.0724:51 |
Watch | Download | |
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Suede02.07.0727:28 |
Watch | Download | |
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Flowers01.31.0732:37 |
Watch | Download | |
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Bologna01.24.0727:09 |
Watch | Download | |
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Cockpit01.17.0727:57 |
Watch | Download | |
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Cheesecake11.29.0614:25 |
Watch | Download | |
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Cumquat11.22.0633:41 |
Watch | Download | |
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Pancake Breakfast11.15.0629:41 |
Watch | Download | |
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Animation11.08.0632:37 |
Watch | Download | |
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Nachos!11.01.0623:15 |
Watch | Download |
The World Famous(ish) Trophy Wife Podcast
a new Harold (most) every Thursday
Trophy Wife Live!
Every Wednesday at 9pm
iOWest
6366 Hollywood Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90038
323.962.7560 for tickets/info
